ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
