Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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