Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize