You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize