EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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