"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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