It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
