My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
