Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There's always time for handjobs
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
