you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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