i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
