did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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