ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
