is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
