Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
