It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
where are you?
Hypothermia
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
