after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
