Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
