I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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