Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
