Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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