Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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