There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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