I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
