Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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