well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
