i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize