Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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