nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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