you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
