so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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