So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
