I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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