youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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