I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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