i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
