I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
