Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
