Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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