me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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