wanna go halves on a baby?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
