exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
