bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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