Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
