then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
