I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
