You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
