Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
