I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
