stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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