apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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