i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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