I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
