And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
