I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
