I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
