thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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