New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
