whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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