you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
