Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
