But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
