You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
