do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
