I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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