So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
