there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just want nice things and good sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
