her vagine was all disorganized.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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