addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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