We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
