yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
