Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
