Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize