Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
