I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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