i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
