Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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