i may or may not be watching the land before time
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
