I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
