Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

(817): View more from Texas

dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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(630): View more from Illinois

just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.

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(727): View more from Florida

and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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(214): View more from Texas

What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.

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(408): View more from California

I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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(435): View more from Utah

The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.

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