sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Houston, we have a blender
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So much rum. So many feels.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
