How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
